Let Life Get Messy

I let things get messy this weekend. 

The house was messy, I was messy (the same pajamas all weekend kind of messy), my schedule was messy (i.e. there was no schedule), my to-do list was messy (and ignored). 

It was great. And I’m surprised that I’m able to say that. 

You see, despite the fact that I write a blog about the importance of rest, I’m not very good at rest. I run off of to-do lists, planning my day from morning to night and finding new ways to keep myself busy.  

Things changed when I got sick with a chronic illness. Suddenly, being busy and active every day wasn’t an option. Some days, even though I had a list of things to do, my only option was to rest. And I struggled with that. 

I hated feeling like I wasn’t in control of my day. I hated that my body decided what I did with my day. I felt frustration and disappointment about not being able to do the things I wanted and I got stressed out about not being able to accomplish the tasks that I felt I “needed” to get done that day. 

So, being able to say that life got messy this weekend, and that I was okay with it, is kind of a big deal for me. But it took me a while to get here. I learned a lot from therapy and deep self-reflection. Here’s what I’ve learned: 

You don’t need to control every second of life. And ultimately, you can’t control every second of life. It just doesn’t work that way. The moment I was able to let go of that desire to have control, my world felt a little less chaotic and a lot more peaceful. 

Checking things off a to-do list isn’t a “need,” rest is. The world won’t fall apart if you don’t get everything done today. Completing tasks isn’t a vital part of life. Do you know what is vital to your health? Rest.

Your body is constantly sending you signals. Take a moment to stop and listen. This weekend, my body told me to stray from my schedule, to connect with friends and take a break. Despite wanting to get things done, I decided to nurture my heart by connecting with friends and to let my body rest by catching up on sleep. 

And lastly, you are worthy of rest. Think of all the incredible, intense things your body has already done today, or this week. What you’ve done is enough. What you’ve done is worthy of rest. Give yourself a break and then you can go back to doing incredible things. 

These reminders are for us. Because they’re important. Because they’re easy to forget. Because we are all worthy of a little rest. 

And because the house will get cleaned. Just not today 😉

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